Sacred Sexuality (and the Choice Involved)

I was fourteen years old when I first started serving at my local youth group, a massive 6th-12th grade ministry of about four hundred students. I was fire-eyed, passionate, ready to see revival sweep the whole place and depending on it confidently. Everyone broke into small groups after main teaching, and in my small group my young heart was exposed to issues in my peers that I had never, ever seen. Girls cutting themselves. Attempts at suicide. Depression. Anger. Horrible brokenness in the home. We were all fourteen. I loved these girls with such a full heart and prayed with all fervency for their freedom. One in particular became a close friend and I, recognizing that I was one of, if not the only, Jesus-loving friend she had, took responsibility for her transformation. The day I saw her raise her hand to receive Jesus, after months of praying for her and encouraging her, I thought my heart could explode with joy. I knew that that would definitely change everything, that her relationship with Jesus was going to bring her into the healing that she didn't have, that she wouldn't try to kill herself again, and that after a painful break up with her boyfriend she would find the Lord's filling love at last. But something happened. I started hearing rumors that I didn't want to believe. I finally asked her about it and she denied everything. But soon we all knew. She was dating a girl. It all happened quickly and soon she didn't come to youth group again. It was a while before someone told me that my youth pastor had asked her not to return. My heart was broken.

It was not right of me to take responsibility for another person, but I truly believed that it was God's will for my influence to change her. And when change went out the window and she chose a lifestyle that horrified me, something happened to me. I got scared. In my young mind I believed the lie that it was my fault. Surely I was the "only Christian friend," the only one who could show her what Jesus was like. And she didn't choose Jesus. Friends, the lie was so loud and so tormenting: "If you couldn't save her you cannot save yourself."

I never acted in any kind of homosexual way. But my mind became a cell. I started seeing differently, everything became sexual. I knew absolutely that my desire was and is to marry a man, to be a wife, to honor Jesus all the way in the covenant of marriage. Yet the accusations terrified me daily: That I liked girls, that my attractions were distorted. That the lifestyle of my friend who *I couldn't save* would become my lifestyle. That I had no choice. That I had no way out. And that I was alone.

I was ready to step away from every leadership position in ministry that I had. How could I lead others in such a state of shame and sin? I went to my parents at last, sat at the foot of their bed late one night and told them the truth. That I felt like something was wrong with me, felt out of control with the sinful thoughts in my head, and that I felt so ashamed. They were so gentle. They were not afraid for my sake, which set my heart at ease. It was such a picture of the Father's heart. He is never alarmed by what scares us.

There was so much fear- gut-wrenching, sickening fear. Fear of losing myself, of getting lost. Fear of losing relationship with Jesus. Fear of losing control. Fear of not being who I want to be. Fear of accusation. Fear of failure. Fear of sin, sin itself. Fear that something, beyond my control, was wrong with me.

I laid on the floor of my bedroom after talking with my parents and wept. "God, I am not getting up until You heal me of this. Please, please, take these fears away."

Sacred sexuality is God's design for man and woman to be together; beautiful symbolism of the coming marriage between the Bride and the Lamb. Celebrate that, Beloved! Celebrate the beauty of God's design! OF COURSE Satan wants to steal, distort, and destroy righteous sexuality in anyone and everyone who he can. He will try to deceive you! He will tell you that you have no choice, that homosexuality is not a sin, and that the temptation of the flesh (which, note, ALWAYS stands in contrast with the Truth of the Spirit) is who you really are.

What lies!

Choice! I didn't understand choice. In my taking responsibility for the sin of a friend I took on the role of Savior that I couldn't, that I CANNOT bear. I can't bear it! If He cannot save then all is lost. But if He IS who He says He is... then He can save!

We must KNOW and TEACH that there IS a choice involved in sexuality. To believe there is no choice goes absolutely against everything accomplished by Jesus on the the cross. He provided for us the freedom that could never be earned through the Law by giving us a choice to follow Him (and be free!). The choice in sexuality can be considered gay or straight. But I believe the REAL choice for freedom is is just flat-out Jesus. Just choose Jesus, day-in, day-out and He will keep you on the straight path.

I am still choosing, Friends, still choosing the path of life, the straight and narrow way. Even now feeling TOTALLY convinced of God's design and being able to better separate myself from the choices of others, I still must daily choose Jesus. So, do not be alarmed if homosexual thoughts attack you, if your loose your footing, if you feel foggy and unsure. Do not be alarmed when everything in pop culture contradicts what you believe through the Word to be true and do not even try to accommodate both the Word and the world in your belief system when Light and darkness can have no fellowship with one another.

When you feel accused and condemned and you must wage war (as all believers do) against the evil of the sinful nature, do not freak out, or even be surprised. Fighting against the sinful nature does not signify that you have a personality disorder, that you've lost your salvation, or that there's something wrong with you. In all of history there has never been a believer who has not had the internal conflict of sinful nature and Spirit. So know:
1. You're not alone.
2. You're not condemned.
3. You get to (and must) choose.

Below are scriptures that have been, for me, prison door keys over and over. Get out, Beloved, leave your prison behind. The salvation of the Lord is at hand on your behalf. In confident salvation you can dismiss all accusations, casting down every tongue that rises against you. You will have to fight, but fight from the peace that comes from knowing in advance the victorious outcome and trust Him to fortify you, to protect you, and to save you. *A fully capable Savior He is!*

And in the cell, as Paul and Silas did when imprisoned for sharing the Gospel, sing. Sing out to the Lord songs of deliverance, hear the prison shake and crumble, and exit with ease and thanksgiving. For though you may be in the prison, do not for a moment believe the prison is in you. You have not lost who you are. In these days I sing a lot.


"You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." - Psalm 32:7

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting against each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under the obligation to the law of Moses." - Galatians 5:16-18

"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around you like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." - 2 Peter 5:8-9

"Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood." - Isaiah 54:4

"This is how we know that we belong to the truth and set our hearts at rest in His presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." - 1 John 3:19-20

"...he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose!" Acts 16:24-26 (exclamation mark added)

Romans 5-6
1 Corinthians 13

And as I scroll though scripture to find more to reference I just have to say there is SO MUCH in the Bible! Read the Word!!!! We will not be defeated! He is mighty to save!


  1. Wonderfully said. Wonderfully spoken. A truth. It can be elaborated to so many sins. And more so even to sins that we deem more irredeemable than homosexuality.


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